Jamie*1 and her husband have worked with me for almost two years. During that time, their confidence in the Creighton system2 was high, but Jamie still felt a great fear about the possibility of pregnancy outside of their Plan. Anything but the Plan, she was sure, would be absolutely terrible for their lives, goals, and marriage.
Then, one cycle, she thought for sure she was pregnant. (Spoiler alert: she wasn’t.)
A funny thing happened, though. This was her worst nightmare — the thing she’d been dreading since she got married. She thought she’d feel crushed, afraid, and overwhelmed. Instead, she was surprised to find that she was happy, a little giddy, and thrilled to tell her husband — as soon as she could confirm with a positive test.
Of course, there wasn’t a positive test. She wasn’t actually pregnant — she just had a longer cycle than is typical for her.
But this whole experience challenged everything she thought she knew about pregnancy and planning. Instead of feeling despair over an unplanned pregnancy, she felt deep disappointment that she wasn’t pregnant after all.
Before this moment, she had a host of reasons why it would be horrible to have a baby right then. But when she was faced with it? Without even meaning to, she made a new plan. She figured out how they would adjust, who could help, and where they could get support.
So, what now? Does this mean they should throw out the original Plan and start having babies? Should they be breathing a sigh of relief that they aren’t pregnant after all? What do they do with this experience?
As I told her, it’s tempting to attack those practical questions first and figure out how to adjust The Plan — but don’t jump straight there and miss the beautiful gift given through this experience!
What was once a great fear is now joyfully anticipated!
Seriously… Praise God!
There is so much fear around pregnancy outside of a perfect timeline. It’s easy to see it for all it could take away from us, without ever seeing the other side — that while it does strip away certain aspects of our lives and plans and expectations, it also gives us deep joy and great love.
Jamie and her husband didn’t even have to have a child to get a glimpse of this truth. Even the possibility of pregnancy was enough to open their eyes to the beautiful gift hidden beneath the fear.
Praise God.
Of course, there are still those practical questions to be answered. They matter, too! This experience does not mean that they automatically have to start having children. There is absolutely still room for wise discernment about family planning. But now? They can do so with a lightness, joy, and anticipation that they couldn’t fathom before.
Their fear was replaced with hope — and that shouldn’t go unacknowledged.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
There are a lot of valid fears related to fertility and pregnancy. We all need the reminder that God is present in the midst of our fertility journey — whatever that may look like — and can be trusted to provide our greatest good. Do you believe this is true? Has God transformed some fear for you? We’d love to hear about it in the comments.
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As a reminder, Fertile Faith is written by Caitlin Estes. Caitlin is the Owner and Certified FertilityCare Practitioner at Woven Natural Fertility Care, and feels passionate about providing empowering fertility education to women. Woven talks openly about the deep relationship between fertility and faith. As a Christian, Caitlin feels passionate about God’s good design of our bodies and fertility, and how this area of our lives can be incredibly fruitful, spiritually.
Of course her name is changed to honor her privacy.
The Creighton Model System is a comprehensive form of family planning that allows couples to confidently avoid or conceive pregnancy through the observation of cervical mucus, while gathering medical insights that can be used by OBGYNS and medical providers. The Creighton system is 99.5% effective at avoiding pregnancy without the use of hormones, condoms, or any other form of contraception.